- Posted by Shane Daniell
- On March 13, 2018
Having coached for thousands of hours, the most common thing that shows up in coaching sessions is the disappointment, anxiety and often depression that people experience when there is a mismatch between what they want and what they have.
Time and time again I hear people say that they want more – more fulfilment, more love, more happiness, more time, more money and the list goes on!
Most people manage to get what they need. They may even dream about having more, but how often do they really get there in the absolute way that they have dreamt about?, Inevitably something always gets in the way and more often than not it tends to be themselves.
Have you ever wondered why some people get what they want no matter what? Been jealous, frustrated even angry at other people’s successes?
How do they do it? Is it luck, good timing, better circumstances, greater access to money, all of the above?
So what can YOU do to get what you REALLY want?
1. Have a plan
Do you know exactly what you want to accomplish, are you clear on what the destination looks like? Do you know who and what you want to attract into your life? The type of people, the amount of money, the type of work, career or business? The type of body and energy you want?
To get what you want you must first gain clarity, create a vision board, write a list and get very specific about what you want and then set the intention. Tell yourself “I intend to get this”.
You must believe that what you want is possible. We get exactly what we are willing to accept and what we believe we are worthy of. Believing that you can get what you want is very powerful indeed. Most people don’t believe that they will get everything they want and fear creeps in and keeps them off track.
It’s simple, own a strong belief system which will have you knowing and believing that what you want is a reality.
3. Get committed not just interested
If you are merely interested in getting what you want then you will come up with excuses, you will do what’s convenient and take the easy way out. You will rationalise and justify why it won’t work or why you tried once or twice and it didn’t work.
If you’re committed however, you will do whatever it takes. You will believe that anything is possible for you, your past will be in the past and the way you show up today will be the only thing that matters. If you’re committed, you won’t come up with reasons and excuses in your own head why it cannot work.
4. Decide who you need to be!
Those who turn their dreams into reality know WHO they need to be! They create a powerful identity and DECIDE to be that person on a consistent basis to get what they want.
They know who they are, they play to their strengths, outsource their weaknesses and are very aware of their emotions and combat fear. They ‘respond’ rather than ‘react’.
5. Make It Happen consistently!
How long do you try something before you expect to see results? What happens if the results don’t come fast enough? Do you lose patience and give up?
Most people tend to fall into the “all or nothing” category. An event such as a new year gives rise to a new beginning. They give it their ALL, then their energy and focus reduces as other distractions take over. Then before you know it they are playing in the space of nothing!
It is normal for focus to shift and for distraction to set in, but consistent refocusing and small steps all build towards something bigger and more cumulative.
Only play to your strengths and be in action where you are efficient at all times. The rest can be outsourced to someone else!
Being truly committed to the next step in the sequence will always lead you towards where you want to be.
6. Stay out of fear and overwhelm!
I see it all the time. People losing sight of what’s possible as they go into overwhelm of the journey ahead. It seems too daunting, too much, too hard, which leads to the impossibility of it all! Anxiety kicks in!
Chunk it back, break it down and make it bite size pieces in your own head. Determine the next step to focus on and focus on only that next step.
Thinking of and committing to only the next step will say goodbye to overwhelm in that moment in time.
7. Consistently manage your thoughts
Thoughts become beliefs.
Are your thoughts consistently empowering, creating a strong belief system and personal foundation?
We have approximately 65,000 thoughts per day – how many of yours are strong, supportive and affirming? How many of your thoughts are disempowering and critical?
What you focus on, you feel. Your thoughts can make you feel as good as they can make you feel bad!
Are you kind and encouraging of yourself or overly critical?
Oh and one sure way to rapidly change your thinking perspective is to be grateful for what you already have!!
8. Rituals and habits
Rituals become habits.
What you do on a daily basis becomes your habits and shapes your life.
Most rituals when consistently undertaken over a period of time don’t require much conscious thought and therefore get easier, for example brushing our teeth.
Rituals and habits need to be in alignment with your overall vision if you want to realise what you want. For example if you want to lose weight then obviously eating the wrong foods everyday will not support you in getting what you want.
Decide on, create, live and breathe the rituals and habits on a daily basis and not only will they help you to achieve your overall goals but you will create a new norm, a new way of living!
9. Surround yourself with the right people
It is vital to surround yourself with people that truly believe in you and want you to succeed. “You are what you eat” and “you become who you hang around with!”
The people that you surround yourself with are to be your biggest cheer leaders. If they are not, and you choose to stay with them, then at least have the courage to re-educate them in what you expect and want from the relationship when it comes to you and your goals.
Surround yourself also with people that have already achieved what you want. Go to the experts and listen to what went right and what went wrong. Be it a mentor, a coach or a friend these people will help keep you on track and make you accountable.
People will always have an opinion on something. If you really want to get what you want, you won’t and can’t be swayed by their judgment or opinion.
Trust your gut – if someone doesn’t feel right to you, then most likely they are not!
10. Visualise what you want and let go of the rest!
Create in your mind what you want to create in your life. Have images in your head that support what you want, the images are your imagination! Feel what you want when you are in imagination and do this on a daily basis. This practice will make it feel wonderfully real, right here and now.
Be in your personal power of control and influence and let go of the rest. Do not try and control anyone to changing in any way in order for you to get what you want. Do it for you and those who are like-minded will join you!
Putting this all into practice is much more challenging than just thinking about it, but once you start it will work!
At the end of the day you have one shot at life, the choice is yours – what will your choice be?